Today I took the boys to the Zoo. The weather was AWESOME and we just had to get outside-so a special trip it was! One week from today I will be back at work-no more special trips. I wasn't planning on going back to work this year. The plan was to take an extended maternity leave through the end of this school year and return as normal in the fall. This winter, I learned that unfortunately there would not be a job for me next year. Due to enrollment decreasing, the district made the decision to cut a PE position at the elementary school. I have been there the least amount of time, resulting in my cut.
I haven't written anything about it, because frankly, I was hoping it wouldn't happen. I was very very sad when I found out. There were tears-quite a few. I absolutely love my job. I love my kids and being with them too, but one of the benefits of a teaching job is that I do have more days off than the average working mom. It is a job where I really felt like I was making a difference. I know I am a gym teacher and some might argue that the kids aren't learning anything super important (which is not true), but it is the perfect platform to have a ton of great conversations with kids about life and personal stuff. I have been in to visit a few times since I left in October and the kids have asked if I am coming back. Before I decided to return this year, I almost started crying in the middle of a class knowing that I might not be. Thankfully my principal and superintendent were more than willing to have me back this year. I am actually excited to be going back to work-for a whopping 2 months!
Last week my principal made a very profound statement to me. She said, "it must be strange going in and out of the mommy world." She is so right! I feel like I have had the opportunity to do something that many people don't get to do. I have had the chance to be a stay at home mom and working mom interchangeably for an extended period of time (5 months home, 10 months working, 2.5 months home, 2 months working, 6 months home, and I'm about to start 2 more months of work before I am off for the foreseeable future. In an ideal world, I would love to work a few days a week. Unfortunately, that's not an option right now.
Back to the profound statement. Both worlds are different. Sure there are similarities-both involve being a mom and having kids. Both involve tiring days spent at various jobs. Both still require you to get your regular "life maintenance" things accomplished. But the way that each of these things are accomplished is very different. I think you can compare being a working mom and being a stay at home mom, but the argument of which is harder, can never be won. Both are challenging in their own ways.
From what I have found, it is hard to be home all day, sometimes with minimal adult interaction. (although some may argue working with middle school kids is not much different!) It is hard to give give give of yourself all day and your workday never ends. It is also hard to be away from your kids and know that you are missing things. It is also hard to get everything that needs to be done around the house while adding 40 more hours of other work to your week and still trying to find quality time to spend with your family. Both are hard, both are fun. I wish I could do both.
There is also a difference in the mentality of a stay at home mom vs. a working mom. I have experienced both mentalities myself as well. I have had to relearn how to function in each world as I have left and re-entered them. Thus the profoundness of my principal's statement.
As I am about the re-enter the working mom world, I am excited and sad. I am very excited to go back to work, but I am very sad as well that this is "it" for me at the amazing school I have called "home" for so many years. I will miss seeing my amazing "kids" every day and I will miss the amazing people who I work with. I hope to someday soon return to teaching, but for now I will choose to enjoy my time with my kids to the fullest and make the most of the "extra" time I have in my week to spend time with people I don't usually get to see and to raise my children as best I can. It is a privilege to be home with the boys-one I may have been too stubborn to choose on my own, but I am glad that they will get some quality time with their mom!
Let the craziness and early alarms/bedtimes begin!
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