This is my life:)

WARNING: THIS DEFINITELY CLASSIFIES AS A "TMI" POST SO IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN POOP DETAILS, YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ:)

Max is away this week for a couple days (comes home tonight!!).  He's been traveling for work for the past 4 or 5 years pretty regularly.  About one week a month I am on my own.  I used to somewhat enjoy it.  I really missed him by day 3, but the first few days I enjoyed being able to enjoy a nice glass of wine while watching P.S. I Love You (and bawling my eyes out) and NCIS and any other show that  he wasn't a fan of, by myself:)  Things are different now.  We have kids-TWO kids.  Two BOYS. They are great!  They are full of energy! They never stop moving! It's what keeps me moving and I love it.  Some nights though, when it's just me at home, I yearn for those times when I curled up on the couch at 7:00 to watch a chick flick, wine in hand, and some delicious Lipton pasta packet for dinner:)
Tonight was that night.
If you know our family well, you know our first son has some problems producing regular BM's, or as they're called in our house, deuces.  I flood him with apple juice, water, and he even takes daily Miralax for periods of time to expedite the "process".  He will go for a few days often without deucing.  Today was day 3 (I think-maybe longer). We had a nice dinner of french toast and scrambled eggs.  I was excited because we were done and hanging out by 6:45 and I thought to myself, we should go for a quick 3 mile run now before baths and bed!  Max and I are training for a Half Marathon and today was supposed to be 3 miles but do to sleeping in and really long naps by the kids we hadn't made it out yet.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?! I ran out to get the stroller out of the garage and came back in and T was pooping! Great news!!! I thought, no biggie-we'll run after you're done.  Clearly I had forgotten how long it had been since he'd pooped.  The following events panned out of the next 90 minutes:

7:00 Mom thinks, let's go for a run
7:05 T decides it a good time to poop
7:06 Mom thinks, we'll just wait
7:15 T is still working things out (me: poop all done? T: no mommy, more poop)
7:20 Mom notices a wetness forming on the back of T's shorts, outlining his diaper
7:20 Mom: DO NOT SIT ANYWHERE T!
7:21 Mom runs around trying to get towels for baths and putting stroller away because we clearly are not making it to run now!
7:22 Mom reenters kitchen and T is sitting.  Fail. Quick Soap and Water and wash cloth to clean up the "residue" left behind on the floor after he gets up"
7:23 T is carried to B's changing table for a big change (thank God B is so easy going-and thank God he stayed in his room while I was changing T...he's pulling himself up on everything and even stood for 2 seconds tonight-probably a fluke, but the kid is on the move!)
7:24 Operation biggest deuce ever taken/changed in this house is underway
7:27 I finally have him all cleaned up and go to wrap up the diaper to throw it out.  Diaper is so large it won't wrap up. Keep trying. Get poop on my hand. Oh crap (no pun intended). clean that off. Try to wrap diaper again.
7:28 Wipe falls off pile of poo diaper. Pick wipe up. Huge chunky/slimy poo stuck on changing pad. Trying to maneuver to wipe it up with a wipe and more chunky slimy poo is falling out of the diaper now onto the changing pad.  Ugh! And on the changing table!
7:29 I decide there is no salvaging this and I need to get a bag. Run back to room and while I'm putting it in the bag more stuff drips out, etc.  You get the VERY disgusting picture! See B with garbage pail on the floor and playing with the other dirty diapers (thankfully just pee ones!)
7:30 get T & B to bathroom for baths.  Go to take B's diaper off: Poop! Back to his room to change it.
7:31 really in the bath now.  Thankfully they love baths. B just kept trying to stand up in the tub so that was fun!
7:40 back to B's room to get everyone ready for bed.  Boys in PJ's and I look on floor and see what looks like a wood chip...go to pick it up...not. a. wood. chip. Poop chunk! Gross!
7:41 I tell T not to touch it (B has crawled out of the room so i'm not worried) while I run to kitchen to get a wash cloth and some Resolve to clean floor. On my way back, I witness B standing at tub (emptied) and then slips and falls awkwardly hitting his head on the floor-cries ensue.  I pick him up to soothe him, walk back into the room just in time to see with his finger near his mouth, looking guilty
7:42 Me: T did you just touch the stuff on the floor? T: Yeah. Me: Did you just put it in your mouth? T: Yeah. Me: (trying to hold back the puke while quickly cleaning his mouth out with the still clean washcloth because I haven't managed to make it back to room without an injured baby and a poop-eatind toddler) We don't eat poop. That's gross. Don't eat poop anymore.  And then I thought to myself, "yet another sentence I never thought I'd utter in my lifetime."
8:15 after finally cleaning up the rug, getting both boys in PJ's, and making it upstairs to T's room, B & I put T to bed, I put B to bed, clean up the ATV course/fort/all the couch cushions on the floor, wash the poop off all affected clothing, etc., clean sink out from washing of poop clothes, etc., throwing everything in the laundry, I walk back through the living room to find a remnant chunk...washing hands and cleaning up poop AGAIN!

8:30 here I sit with an overly full (WT as my friend Emily calls it) glass of red wine and watching NCIS, trying to relive the good old days!

I apologize if that was too much information (which it totally was) but this was a hysterical night for me-one that I couldn't help but laugh at-one that despite having to wash my hands 20 times in an hour, I am incredibly grateful for:)