Today is a sucky day

I have been having a hard time working through the events that rocked Sandy Hook and the world last Friday.  I am thinking as a parent, as a teacher, and as a human and I have so many thoughts.  They all came to a head in the most emotional day that I have had in a long time.

Today is a sucky day.  December 21st has been a sucky day since 1999.  On December 21, 1999 my cousin Mikey, just 16 years old, had his life taken from him all too soon.  He was turning left onto a main road when a man driving a car, without its headlights on, crashed into the driver's side of his Mustang.  The driver had just robbed a convenience store and fled the scene.  He also was on a variety of drugs, etc. and was driving under the influence.  Christmas has gotten fun again, but it took some time.  Not a year goes by that I don't think of him and miss him and cry for him being gone.  December 21st is a sucky day.

Today was even suckier than normal.  I woke up to an extreme downpour and hurricane like winds, but that isn't what made it sucky.  Tucker has been very needy and whiney lately and started this morning at 8:30 with a full fledged melt-down.  But again, that isn't what made this day sucky.

What made this day sucky was going to the funeral of the most adorable, smilely little 6 year old girl who's life was taken FAR too soon by a senseless act of violence at Sandy Hook School one week ago.  Everyone remembers where they were when they found out about 9/11 and I believe that everyone will remember where they were when they heard about the Sandy Hook School shootings.  Me, I was sitting on my couch wrapping presents.  Tucker was across the street with the babysitter and Brayden was sleeping.  It popped up on the screen.  I couldn't believe it.  Only 15 minutes away from us!  And I knew people who lived in that section of town.  As incomprehensible news of the attack continued on, I learned that a colleague's granddaughter was unaccounted for.  Sweet Olivia Rose did not survive the shootings.  Today was a sucky day.  No one should have to go to a funeral for a 6 year old girl.  No one should have to bury their 6 year old girl.  No other 6 year old girls, like the one sitting behind me, should have to attend the funeral of their friend.  I am emotionally drained, and I am not even a part of the family or a close friend.  I cannot imagine the grief that they must be feeling, and will continue to feel for years to come.
Today was a sucky day.  But today was a day where I was able to smile.  During the mass, the priest shared about a Newtown policeman who found Olivia when he reached the school and she was still alive.  He immediately scooped her up in his arms and told her that he loved her, that her parents loved her, that Jesus loved her and that God would protect her.  He was not mentioned by name, but I soon learned that he was the one person who we know who is a Newtown police officer.  This man is one who wouldn't want any recognition and was only acting out of the love in his heart.  This man is an amazing man of God who understands that Jesus died for him, for all of us, and that this life that we live is not ours, but rather one where we exist to share the love that God poured down on us through his son Jesus, with others.  And this man did just that to this little girl.  What a gift for her parents to know that in the midst of this unspeakable tragedy, their daughter was being loved and put at ease by his love and words.  God was speaking through him to calm a scared 6 year old.

Today was a sucky day, but I am reminded that in this Christmas season, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, it is important to remember that he came so that we could have life, and life to the fullest.  This Newtown police officer exemplified that last week, even in the midst of the hell that he had just walked through.  There is so much good in this world amidst the evil.  There is so much love to give.  We must not forget that.

December 21st will always be a sucky day for me.  December 14th will always be a sucky day for so many in this world as we remember the lives lost MUCH too early.  But on this sucky day to come, I will now also remember the love that one selfless man showed to a little girl, and I will always be reminded of the love that our God gave to us through the birth of his son.

Merry Christmas